okay, i am currently in the state of rearrangement.  i am unhappy with the limitations msn has put on visitors to my blog, but in order to create a blog on any other site, i have to name myself.

although this may seem like an easy task to the average bear, i am plagued with this overwhelming desire to encapsulate the whole convoluted concept of myself in a single word or phrase.

but see, if i call myself "designer dude" i leave out my esoteric understanding of 80's cartoons. on the other hand, if i name myself "roman tick" you'll assume that i am a debonair ladies man... which could not be further from the truth. in fact, i come across to most women as "pleasantly pathetic" and if you think that i am going to use that as my logon.... well, actually, that could work. i would get the pity visitor while simultaneously giving hope to thousands of panicking, bespecticaled, bespotted and slightly overweight geeks.

"mercurio" sounds pretentiously intellectual and "pig" isn't pretentiously intellectual enough (pig is what she calls me...).

i never had a nickname (at least that anyone but me knew. and even then, that was just my middle name) i tried to go by alex once by telling a kid at the pool that that was my name. but after he spent most of the rest period calling after me, and me not responding, he decided that i wasn't attentive enough to be his friend. i never told anyone else that that was my name...

so that won't work. 

you can see now that i over think these things and make it nearly impossible to move forward with my life as a blogger.

and yet, i feel that to unload any potentially interesting or decent material on this blog is wasting valuable energy. not to mention that with my undeniable wit and command of the written language i would have people returning to this site only to find an outdated blog that says simply:

"we've abducted b and taken him to  ..........com. if you want to read his blog posts again, wire money to the account below and tell everyone at work that you are responsible for the phrase 'well, i'll be gosh-darned!'."

so to avoid that, i will post innane messages like this one for a while until i come up with either a great name, or the wit to support a site people might actually want to visit...

 

in the mean time, here's the j for today: ooki: japanese for "big". pronounced "o-o-key"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

anyway, i would like to thank all the people who have made this happen. i would like to thank al gore for the internet. i want to thank bill gates for the blog site. and a big thank you to the folks at dell for this laptop. and finally, i want to thank the person who left the comment.

 

you just made my blogging worthwhile. or at least my constant comment leaving.

 

 

 

 

 

 

i don't garden, i weeden.

 

b-dubs has changed a few of the key places around on me. sure, a few of the halls and rooms that the mundane made precious for me remain, but in the rest... different wallpaper and paint, some spackle to fix those cracks that i memorized so many years ago.

and i know that they should do those things, they need to update the rooms and all that, but did they have to do it while i am still living? i mean, the college has buildings and rooms which have gone largely unchanged for decades. why did they have to change those things? remodel those rooms? why did they have to change around the room where i first met neuroses 1?

why did they take out the old drinking fountain and slate floor of the hallway where we first spoke to each other?

it was after class. she handed me her notebook (blue, i think) and asked if i wanted to review her notes before the test. back to the wall with that  ridiculously big bulletin board, shaggy with ads, posters and i think a flyer for laundry washing stapled all over it. her converse each framed by grey green slate tiles and dirty grout lines of that ancient floor.

at least i think that's what kind of floor it was. now i can't check to make certain. i can't see it to replay the memory accurately.

like in eternal sunshine, i feel as if someone is deliberately erasing my memories and making them benign, antiseptic.

i spent the last ten years learning to forget what is now being forcibly removed. what's more, all that quelling has gone out the window in one lazy trip through the newly renovated carnegie hall.

 

ah well, maybe it's for the best. i mean, what would she think of this rumination anyway?

 

or rather, closer to the point, listening is fun.

just finished listening to harry potter and the order of the pheonix.

 

very entertaining and almost as good as the book... er, wait...

happened upon a blog today about a cat.

 i mean really.

 not that my pointless ruminations are any better, but can you think of nothing better to litter cyberspace with than cat annectdotes?

really wish this thing had spell check on it...

 

maybe misspelling is what comes of opting to listening to books on tape. i can pronounce all these misspelled words very well indeed. as for grammar and spelling, well, maybe i should listen to english books on tape.

and if i listened to them in spanish i could learn spanish at the same time!

and if i transferred the various spanish english grammar cd's onto ten minute tapes, i would be able to get a workout while listening to them.

i think i just found a new infomercial breakthrough. ten minute abs, spanish and grammar!

now if only i could find some wildly obnoxious and ill proportioned individual to hock it for me, i'd be in business.

operators are standing by!

life seems to have fun changing the pace on me. first i can't wait until i'm older. then i get older and take every moment in like when i used to take a deep breath before dropping to the bottom of the 12 foot section. if you waited long enough, you could actually start to feel the molecules of air rattling around your chest. or maybe that was just the delerium of asphyxiation.

either way, i would take in every moment like that and hold it until i could feel the time careening off my temporal coil as though i were standing on a huge rock hurtling through space- oh, wait. i am.

and now the point:

30. stuck in the body of a 45 year old (no hair--see the graphic in the top left) with the mentaility of an eleven year old (i ike burning stuff,adventure movies and legos) and despite this time defying make up, it's what saturday already? OF NEXT WEEK!

just let me catch my breath! oh to be like ol' Moses of Hudsucker Industries. jam the cog a while, stop the big wheel from turning.

crazy times, these. not because of all the crap in the world or the amazing technology. not cazy because of who's in office or the fact that seacoast regions are being swept out to sea.

no. they're crazy because soon i am going to be in charge of an eternal being. no, not another cat, you know you can never be in  charge of a cat! i'm talking about those things you see all over schools and playgrounds. in malls and getting into my legos... yeah, a kid. one of those things!

me?! with a kid?! i just hope there's a return policy.

Lord have mercy. 

on all of us.